HOW NEIGHBORLY ARE YOU?

“I expect you to keep everything in your yard! Don’t get into my property and keep out! I’m giving you one last warning. Ignore me one more time and I will call the police.”

The sharp words were spoken at the boundary line of the property between two homes. The anger had been building for quite some time and it was finally time to speak up over the infractions that had been tolerated. Bettie stood there stunned at the tirade she received from her neighbor. What had prompted the anger? Bettie had simply been using a leaf blower to clean up her yard and some leaves had gotten into the neighbor’s yard. Yes, a few leaves had marred the neighbor’s landscape and she was livid.

It soon became apparent that the neighbor had other issues that had bothered her. She felt it was time to disclose exactly how much she had tolerated. She complained over the time that Bettie’s grandson had been playing in her carport while she was on vacation. If she was on vacation how did she ever see the young child riding his bicycle in her carport? Everyone knew that she kept to herself and no one knew anything personal about her. But it was obvious that she had her own opinions about what was right and what was wrong.

The next complaint was directed at a few papers that had littered her back yard. It’s not uncommon for paper to fly away while the trash truck is down the street and even an open window in a car driving by can cause a paper to blow away. The pieces of paper were apparently not wanted in her yard but it certainly wasn’t something done out of hatred towards the person. Branches that fell off trees and landed on her lawn were another source of agitation. Bettie took all this in stride and knew that the woman was exaggerating. Whether or not she would ever call the police was just a risk that Bettie was willing to take. One person could hardly be responsible for everything.

On a Tuesday afternoon Bettie walked out on the front porch to get her mail. When she looked down there was a small piece of Styrofoam on the porch with a rock on top. There was a note complaining about the latest problem. The neighbor knew for certain that Bettie had deliberately placed the item in her yard just to cause more bitterness. She had reached her level of tolerance and the note on the Styrofoam gave one last threat about involving the police. Such animosity over such trivial matters! Bettie never lashed out and tried to point the pettiness of everything. No matter what she did, there was no way to convince her neighbor that she had done nothing with malice.

There was only one time that I experienced a neighbor so obnoxious. When we were first married we lived in a trailer court. Our neighbor had been involved in an accident and I caught him one day with a sledge hammer pounding away at his own car, the car that was waiting for an estimate for repair. The cost for repairs would be paid by the other party’s insurance company and in his anger our neighbor wanted to be sure the damage was extensive. It wasn’t long after that I got my first complaint. I had mowed my lawn and grass blades were left on the driveway. Okay, I can sweep up after I finished mowing. At that time it seemed somewhat demanding and unreasonable. We moved shortly after that but that attitude was more than a little unreasonable.

I have been very fortunate to always have good neighbors. Everyone at some time has probably done something to annoy their neighbor but most of us usually ignore the small offenses. Bettie chose to ignore the complaints of her neighbor. If the case was ever taken before a court of law, there was no sound evidence to prove that she acted maliciously. In my own experience I realized that the neighbor was crafty and didn’t think anything of taking advantage of others. I kept my distance until we moved because I didn’t want to be the recipient of his temper.

God’s Word has many passages that deal with the way that we treat our neighbors. Matthew 19:19, Matthew 22:39, Mark 12:37, Luke 10:27, Galatians 5:14 and James 2:8 are all New Testament references that instruct us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Colossians 3:12 instructs us to be longsuffering and to forgive one another when someone has a complaint against you. Leviticus 19:18 reminds the children of Israel to not take vengeance towards their neighbor and to love their neighbor. Proverbs 24:28-29 challenges us to not be a witness against our neighbor without cause…”Do not say, I will do to him just as he has done to me”.

Being a Christian is not always easy and dealing with difficult people can be a real test of just how much God is living in us. It is easy to lash out in anger or to think of ways to get even, but neither of these ways are acceptable to a Christian. Many of these difficult people may not be Christians or may be dealing with some type of mental illness. A kind word will sometimes make the difference. If not, try to tolerate the person and still be kind. If your neighbor simply can’t be friendly or forgiving you might have to avoid any close contact. I know of one person who is so grumpy that she has alienated her neighbors as well as her own family members. She has the “I am always right” attitude and people soon give up trying to be friendly to her. She is lonely but she has not been able to show any love to others.

It may be a real test of our Christian faith and ability to love, but do the best you can to reach out to others who may be hurting. It's what Christ wants us to do.