CULTIVATE NEW FRIENDSHIPS

Everyone needs and wants a good friend. Someone who is there to be with you when your world comes crashing down or when you are excited and need someone to share with you in a special moment of joy. It doesn’t matter if you live in the city or country or where you live, everyone has the need or desire to develop a good friendship. We have moved around a major part of our life, mainly due to my husband’s job, but I have been lucky to always find at least one friend who could keep confidences and be there when I needed to talk, cry, laugh, or wanted to give up and no matter where I lived. A true friend, someone who loves, is loyal, and makes and keeps commitments. (Merriam Webster Dictionary.)

I thought about the type of friends I have had over the years and the friendships I have had have been strong ones. I keep in touch with the young woman who was the maid of honor at my wedding more than 30 years ago. I have kept in touch with a friend of mine from my days as a teacher. We both had families and as our children grew up it just seemed logical that our lives would go in opposite directions. Yes, our kids had done several things together and I had taught her kids in a Christian school, but I never thought that we would still be friends 20 years later. She’s living in Louisiana and I’m living in Arkansas yet we keep in touch, mainly by email. During that time our family moved from Louisiana to Tennessee to Virginia and then to Arkansas. It was not easy to keep up with me, yet we always managed to stay in touch.

In Virginia I had one of the best and closest friends of all. The neighbor across the street from my home was always there to listen, comfort, and guide me in many areas of life. I had several problems to work through including several family problems that seemed to cut right to the depths of my emotions. That relationship is still strong and although we communicate through email, I know that if I wanted to stop in and chat for a while, I could do it without any problems. We could be able to sit down and talk like I had never left the area.

Some friends come into our lives for a short while and others seem to be there for life. I have really gone through some rough periods in my life, times when I felt overwhelmed and not sure where to turn next. At that point God would bring someone special into my life and that person would be exactly what I needed. All of these experiences have helped make me the person I am today. I have learned so much about people in general and about the way that God helps us in our journey here on earth.

Of course, friendship needs to be a two way street. (Proverbs 18:24—“A man who has friends must be friendly”). I should not expect others to meet my needs without trying to help them with their own problems. I also need to be able to show compassion on someone who God places on my heart. I may not always understand what they need but I need to encourage and love others unconditionally. (“A friend loves at all times”—Proverbs 17:17.) People need to know that someone cares. Also, if I take the right attitude they will see God in my life and it may be that this is exactly what God had planned in the first place.

One year I had the opportunity to have a foreign student spend the summer with us. It was something one of my boys wanted to do. I was puzzled since I already had three boys living at home and a houseful of neighbor kids coming in and out. It was something that I didn’t want to do but I could not get peace about the decision. I felt God’s whisper about making a commitment to allow someone to stay in our home. I called the person responsible for making the arrangements. It was about two weeks before the cut-off date for signing up. None of it made any sense, however, I decided to have a 16 year old come to stay with us. I had an 11 year old, a 13 year old, and a 16 year old at home---all boys. What happened that summer was unbelievable! We had a wonderful time and some of the best memories ever. Guillaume decided to come back the following summer, and he began planning on having his best friend come to the US the next summer. Something happened because I followed God’s direction. Our life must have made quite an impression on a young man who probably would not have gotten to come to the US. And that young man made a lasting impression on me. It was amazing how God orchestrated that year, but it was definitely His will for us to have Guillaume in our home. A friendship was forged that lasted for about 5 years—until the time we moved to Arkansas and Guillaume graduated from college.

Other times I discovered people who had just lost a family member, who had encountered depression, who were afraid or who had just moved into an area and were lonely. In each case the person that the Lord brought into my life was experiencing something that I had just struggled through. I have learned to not be surprised when things like that happen now. It just seems to be His way of helping me to use what I have learned to help someone else who needs some consolation. You never know what feelings are behind faces, but if you will take the courage to step out in faith and try to be friendly, God will honor your action. You just may make a new friend.

Remember that Jesus is the best friend that anyone can have. No matter what happens, if we can’t find a friend to spend time with when we need encouragement, we have the privilege of being able to take everything to Him in prayer. Consider the words from the hymn “What A Friend We Have In Jesus”

What a friend we have in Jesus, All our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry, Every-thing to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry, Everything to God in prayer. (vs.1)

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged, Take it to the Lord in prayer. Can we find a friend so faithful, Who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness, Take it to the Lord in prayer. (vs.2)

Are we weak and heavy laden, Cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior still our refuge, Take it to the Lord in prayer. Do thy friends despise forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer. In His arms He will take and shield thee, Thou Wilt find a solace there. (vs.3)