I Want to Be Confident but.......

I recently had a chance to write on the topic “confidence” in a weekly writing challenge and my first inclination was to approach the topic on a positive note. You know, you are confident and want to do what is right or you attempt to overcome your inhibitions to do something that may scare you. It may simply be a difficult situation that tests your endurance. Everyone wants to be confident about something in life. The problem is how to be confident but not overly confident. How do we gain confidence? And where does that confidence come from?

Our family made several moves from state to state and it wasn’t easy. Trying to be confident that we were making the right decision and then following through and learning to make new friends took some time. It was hard to leave the comfort of the area where we lived and we certainly missed all our friends, but more than once the move was necessary. Eventually, after we moved and settled in, we adapted and our confidence increased as we learned to navigate throughout the new area.

Overcoming a fear such as the fear of heights is an area where our confidence may at one time have been shaken. There is a choice: always be afraid of heights or try to work through the problem and gain new confidence as you overcome the fear. I, for one, am not fond of heights and it was something that started when I was a young child. Once I was married and having children I tried to work through the fear. It took several baby steps at first and a lot of jittery feelings inside whenever I looked down, but I gradually learned to overcome my fear. Once I overcame my fear, I can handle most things such as climbing to the top of a mountain on a hike, relaxing while on an airplane trip, and being able to feel comfortable with greater heights. I can feel myself tense up inside when the height is too great and at that time I usually move to a place that seems safe.

In our Christian life we can be confident that our life in Jesus is secure if we have fully committed our life to Him. When things get bumpy along the pathway, we can place our trust in God. He can guide us to make good decisions about churches, questions about right or wrong issues with family life/morality and he can calm our fears when we face uncertain times. For me, this is probably the one area where I have the most confidence. I may make mistakes but when I falter I know that God will pick me up and set my feet on the right path. If He weren’t there for me, I don’t actually don’t know what I would do. I need someone to talk to when things get rough and knowing that He is there calms my inner spirit and gives me the confidence to go forward.

But what about the times that we are confident but actually wrong in our process of thinking? We don’t like to think about those moments but we all have them. Perhaps the one area I can relate to was when I was growing up. Say the word “test” and most students give a long groan. It is a necessary evil in learning material in school and it always meant a lot of studying for me. I usually didn’t have too much trouble coming up with the right answer. But there were times when I answered a question and was 100% certain that I was right only to find out that I was completely wrong. My confidence was slightly shaken and I learned an important lesson. You can be confident in what you are doing or trying to do but you CAN be totally wrong.

The one thing that I think everyone can associate with is the proverbial shortcut while driving from one point to another. If we are honest, we all have made the mistake of making a wrong turn or taken the scenic route and gotten lost along the way. Ever discover a “detour” sign and decide that there wasn’t really a detour there after all? Yes, if you decided to tempt fate you probably discovered that the sign was there for a reason. All the time you expected to save by ignoring the sign was lost when you had to turn around and follow the actual detour.

Everyone has probably found themselves in a traffic jam while coming home from work or driving to work in the morning. When you either left work or home, you knew pretty much how long it took to get from one place to the next. But an accident, road construction, or a closed lane can change the timing. I don’t know about you, but for me it was always at the time when I had to be somewhere at a specific time. Music lessons, dental exams, play rehearsals, and sports practices are all different after school activities and with each obligation, you are expected to be there on time or within a reasonable time after the appointment (probably 5 minutes or less). I know what I should have done but I felt that I could “control” everything so that I wouldn’t be late. Overly confident but wrong in my evaluation of the situation at hand.

On another occasion I was waiting at a stop sign so that I could move across the intersection. I had several cars behind me but when the highway was clear I began to accelerate only to discover that my car was in reverse rather than in drive. I forgot that I had decided to move back just a little when another car seemed too close while driving past. I was confident that I knew exactly what to do but I was totally wrong. If I hadn’t caught my mistake I could have ended up causing an accident and facing an upset driver who would never have really understood why my car was in reverse.

I could elaborate more but I think the message is clear. Being overly confident can be totally unpredictable and give me a result I never expected. Placing my confidence in Christ and letting him guide me is the only way to, shall I say, stay out of trouble.

Proverbs14:16 "A wise man fears and departs from evil but a fool rages and is self-confident"
(NKJV)