After a move to Virginia, I decided to work as a substitute teacher. For a year or so I taught science, history, band, English, French art and even Industrial Technology. The array of courses varied so much that it was rather interesting to see what course I would be teaching next. But there was always the challenge of authority that went along with a substitute teacher. A day of fun! That’s what the students always thought. Not a day for working and keeping up with lesson plans. No, the day that the substitute walked through the door, everyone felt it was a justifiable reason for NOT doing the lessons. Students talked, moved around their own chairs and made their own seating arrangement.
It became hard to discipline in some classes and at the middle school grade level this can be challenging. I liked what I did but I felt I needed a change of pace.
I made the decision to be more careful of how I planned my days as a substitute teacher. I preferred having a position that kept me in the same classroom longer than one or two days. I was willing to take a long term assignment when a teacher had to take a leave of absence but long term assignments didn’t always come up. I had no idea where I would find a place to teach that was slower paced, but God opened a door for me to work in the special education department. There was always a problem getting someone to work with the handicapped and although I had no experience I agreed to accept a few substitute assignments.
Having four gifted and talented boys of my own and working with advanced students in school was something that I always found enjoyable. It motivated me to study to keep ahead of the class and they were usually able to grasp new concepts rather quickly. That was my niche. My comfort zone. Start the day off running to keep up with everyone and manage a brisk pace throughout the day as the classes changed and moved from room to room.
The relaxed pace in the lower wing of the school with the handicapped and special students seemed to be a fresh change from the fast pace of the other “regular” students.
And for the first few days I did enjoy the change of pace. But then my overactive personality tried to take over and move the pace just a little faster. It seemed like it took forever to get any one task finished. Wait, this is special education and the students can’t grasp concepts any faster. Many times the skills have to be taught over and over until they are learned. Even then, some days the learning has to go back to “square one” and re-teaching the idea must be done.
In the class where I did my work, the overall goal is to be sure that everyone has the basic skills to work at routine jobs where tables were cleaned, change was counted, and extending a greeting to each customer was expected. Over and over and over again the tasks were repeated. Just to listen to someone count to fifty without making a mistake was “torture”. Focusing on a task such as folding a napkin and putting a fork, spoon and knife by the table setting was a difficult task for these students. Keeping everyone quiet and organized throughout the school day meant you could never take your eyes off any of the students. Demanding and often stressful in a different way, special education had a new admirer. All of those things that I had taken for granted as my own children grew up certainly was appreciated more now.
God has given some of His children a special place in this world and adjusting to the world takes much longer. Parents often are overworked as they try to work with learning disabilities, handicaps, medical problems, and children who need extra time, care, and attention. But those special students are the source of many blessings. The joy on their face when they complete a task is precious. Completing a goal and being able to have an outing brought cheers of excitement throughout the classroom. Trips to a horse academy, having a pizza party, or just taking a lunch outside and sitting on a picnic table all took on a new meaning and appreciation. Simple pleasures made the students see the world around them outside the four walls of a classroom . As they worked they discovered that they could fit into society just as well as other people. They just had to work a little harder but they had a valuable place in our world and were significant, not only in society’s eyes but in the eyes of God himself.
God taught me a valuable lesson during those years that I worked as a substitute teacher. I needed His help each day that I went to school and entered the classroom. I worked hard to teach others but God was busy teaching me good judgment and knowledge (Psalm 119:66a) through an experience that I never expected. He taught me while I taught the students but the students were the best teachers of all. They opened me eyes to the joy of the simplest part of life and helped me to slow down and listen, really listen. And while I listened to them, I heard God’s voice in a new and special way.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Changing My Focus
The past few months have been busy and at times it has seemed like a whirlwind has gone through the house leaving a trail of debris in the way. Writing was the furthest thing from my mind. I guess I took a break because I felt I needed one. I kept up with singing at church with various choirs so that music could uplift my inner spirit. Working to "cut" two CD's with Terry was fun and I learned a lot about a recording studio. Jason & Holly's wedding was the highlight of the month of May. Busy but not exactly relaxed.
Back in the inner recesses of my mind was the desire to write but I just had to re-organize everything. After the wedding seemed like a perfect turning point for me and as I began to put my thoughts into words, I found that the ideas were still there. They were just hidden beneath all the activity. Now it's time to focus on letting my mind wander and search for the stories that are just below the surface. Stories that need to be told or that are emerging from my mind. Stories that will find their way to this page again.
Back in the inner recesses of my mind was the desire to write but I just had to re-organize everything. After the wedding seemed like a perfect turning point for me and as I began to put my thoughts into words, I found that the ideas were still there. They were just hidden beneath all the activity. Now it's time to focus on letting my mind wander and search for the stories that are just below the surface. Stories that need to be told or that are emerging from my mind. Stories that will find their way to this page again.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Stitched with Love
A recent sermon at our church made a lasting impression on me. The sermon illustration focused on a small boy who was sitting on the floor and watching his mother or his grandmother work at embroidery. The task took a lot of time and as the boy watched all he could see was a bunch of colored threads that were criss-crossed every which way and didn’t look like much of anything. The little boy watched day after day while the work carefully and meticulously proceeded. Some days he would forget about the project and spend time outside with his friends or just being a boy. But on one very special day when he saw his grandmother, she called him and put him up on her lap. From her perspective he could see that what looked disorganized really was a beautiful purple flower with open petals and a butterfly perching quietly on top of the flower. The real beauty was not what he had seen from underneath but rather it was the picture on top that revealed the real beauty.
The parallel from this story has a specific lesson for the Christian who is trying to serve the Lord. In my busy life and the day to day activities I may feel like I am not accomplishing very much. I have days when I am tired and quite unproductive and other days when I feel more satisfied with what I have done. On some days I spend time with the Lord and am more sensitive to others; on other days I get busy and preoccupied with other things. I have a full range of emotions and on some days I feel joyful or happy while on other days I am depressed or angry. Accomplishments seem to take so much work and more than once I wonder if it is worth all the effort. I am looking at the underneath side of God’s pattern for my life. I only see the little things; the problems and struggles block my view of seeing exactly what the Master is doing with my life. But He has the master plan for my life and He sees the finished product. He knows just what my life can become and He is the one who adds the right colors to the pattern to make it beautiful and pleasing to His sight.
So, when the glimpse into the window of my soul seems fuzzy and unclear, it’s time to remember just who is watching over me and let Him show me the right path. He holds the stitches together and adds the silver lining to my own life pattern. Yes, God can do more with my own life than I can. His stitches are perfect and form a completed pattern that some day I will be able to see from the Master’s viewpoint.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The Honest Thief
The screech of tires on the asphalt pavement could be clearly heard late at night. Next the sound of metal hitting metal pierced the darkness. With an abrupt halt, the truck came to stop hitting the trunk of the car directly in front. An accident! Not exactly what my husband expected on his way from the airport but slowly the shock wore off. Inside his truck the airbag deployed preventing him from further danger. The seatbelt held him firmly in place. A call to 9-1-1 alerted the local police that assistance was needed. One at a time other drivers stopped, wondering if they could help in any way. Slowly the events of the evening unfolded and flashing blue lights alerted other drivers to slow down and proceed with caution.
As the tow truck arrived and people began to clear the scene of the accident another tale unfolded that made me really question what motivates people to do what they do. Since my husband was coming home from an out-of-town trip, he had luggage in the back of the truck. His computer and medical breathing device were in the seat behind the driver’s side. The bags were placed in sight by the side of the road while all the details were being taken care of. Tired and ready to come home, my husband went to pick up his luggage only to discover that two items were missing. Yes, someone had taken advantage of the situation and had stolen a laptop and a CPAP medical device. Inside the computer bag was a set of Bose headphones and a MP3 player. In just a matter of minutes almost $5000 of merchandise had been stolen. After all the stress of dealing with the accident another problem added to the already exhausting night.
While authorities searched the along the roadside we waited in anticipation and a hope that the missing items would be recovered. To me, it was the absolute lowest level to which anyone could sink. I know that today’s world has changed from even a decade ago, but I never thought anyone would use the busy activity that surrounds an accident as a cover-up for theft. Just one more thing to add to our list of things to do.
It was four days later that we discovered that we had indeed encountered an “honest” thief. A strange envelope arrived in the mail addressed to my husband with no return address label. When the envelope was opened, the driver’s license that had also come up missing was inside. Thank you so much!! You take the time to steal from the accident scene yet you feel sympathy that someone has lost his driver’s license. Come on! Am I supposed to be grateful for your help?? If you are going to be honest enough to return the driver’s license why not return everything that had been stolen?? Does this really mean that there is honor among thieves?
This example made me question what motivates people to do the things they do. I already know that many people think of the evening as a time to party and make friendships. As a Christian I need to be reminded that many people are living in spiritual darkness. That darkness refers to the missing light of Christ in the lives of unsaved men. One of the Ten Commandments is “Thou shalt not steal (Exodus 20:15). This warning comes early in the Old Testament and is repeated throughout the New Testament. John 10:10 states, “The thief cometh not but for to steal and to kill and to destroy”. The warning is clear and strong. A thief is not to be trusted.
In a deeper spiritual truth, the thief who works hard to prevent me from keeping real fellowship with Christ is Satan himself. He will manifest himself in several ways to tempt me to turn away from God. In the most difficult situations God is beside me and protects me. When the thief seeks to take away my peace or tempts me to move away from God and indulge in some sin, I am the one who has to depend on God. My life is not an accident and God has a purpose for me. To stay focused I need to pay attention to God’s Word and stay close to Him. I must use wisdom in solving problems and share God’s Word with others so that my life is protected from the thief who is hoping for an accident to happen.
As the tow truck arrived and people began to clear the scene of the accident another tale unfolded that made me really question what motivates people to do what they do. Since my husband was coming home from an out-of-town trip, he had luggage in the back of the truck. His computer and medical breathing device were in the seat behind the driver’s side. The bags were placed in sight by the side of the road while all the details were being taken care of. Tired and ready to come home, my husband went to pick up his luggage only to discover that two items were missing. Yes, someone had taken advantage of the situation and had stolen a laptop and a CPAP medical device. Inside the computer bag was a set of Bose headphones and a MP3 player. In just a matter of minutes almost $5000 of merchandise had been stolen. After all the stress of dealing with the accident another problem added to the already exhausting night.
While authorities searched the along the roadside we waited in anticipation and a hope that the missing items would be recovered. To me, it was the absolute lowest level to which anyone could sink. I know that today’s world has changed from even a decade ago, but I never thought anyone would use the busy activity that surrounds an accident as a cover-up for theft. Just one more thing to add to our list of things to do.
It was four days later that we discovered that we had indeed encountered an “honest” thief. A strange envelope arrived in the mail addressed to my husband with no return address label. When the envelope was opened, the driver’s license that had also come up missing was inside. Thank you so much!! You take the time to steal from the accident scene yet you feel sympathy that someone has lost his driver’s license. Come on! Am I supposed to be grateful for your help?? If you are going to be honest enough to return the driver’s license why not return everything that had been stolen?? Does this really mean that there is honor among thieves?
This example made me question what motivates people to do the things they do. I already know that many people think of the evening as a time to party and make friendships. As a Christian I need to be reminded that many people are living in spiritual darkness. That darkness refers to the missing light of Christ in the lives of unsaved men. One of the Ten Commandments is “Thou shalt not steal (Exodus 20:15). This warning comes early in the Old Testament and is repeated throughout the New Testament. John 10:10 states, “The thief cometh not but for to steal and to kill and to destroy”. The warning is clear and strong. A thief is not to be trusted.
In a deeper spiritual truth, the thief who works hard to prevent me from keeping real fellowship with Christ is Satan himself. He will manifest himself in several ways to tempt me to turn away from God. In the most difficult situations God is beside me and protects me. When the thief seeks to take away my peace or tempts me to move away from God and indulge in some sin, I am the one who has to depend on God. My life is not an accident and God has a purpose for me. To stay focused I need to pay attention to God’s Word and stay close to Him. I must use wisdom in solving problems and share God’s Word with others so that my life is protected from the thief who is hoping for an accident to happen.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Guided by a Watchful Eye
Cats are amazing animals. They love to curl up on a couch or bask in a sunny window. Although many owners love keeping their cats outdoors, I prefer to keep my own cats indoors. My own cat Beau is one of my indoor cats and his antics keep me entertained. He has his own condo near the large picture window which is his television to the outdoors. He is intrigued with the squirrels, raccoons, and other cats who are infringing on his territory as they lounge on the deck or search for food. These intruders are infringing on his territory and he slinks along the floor waiting to pounce on them. He loves watching the birds outdoors who come to eat at the feeder located just outside the window. He chatters and talks to them and again he attempts to catch a feathered friend or two. And should any insect come inside the house and fly around the room, his eyes never stop studying the “bug”. He plans his method of attack carefully and usually manages to get a delicious meal when they land nearby.
Just as much as Beau is fascinated with the outdoors, he is insistent on showing me that he is the one who is in charge at home. When I sit down to watch a program on television or get comfortable with reading a book, I can expect my cat to jump up on my lap and find a way to curl up in my arms and sleep. If I take time to sit down and try to use the computer, he jumps up and works hard to gain my attention. But should I want to pick Beau up and hold him, he seems disinterested. He is the “boss” and I have to play by his rules. I am the one who has to learn his language. Perhaps that is the reason that I love cats. I like their independence. They teach me their language and habits. They show me how to relax and to slow down the busy pace of life. Even in taking a nap, the cat stretches and totally relaxes his muscles. Yes, the lessons that a feline can teach me are invaluable.
In my spiritual walk, God is the instructor who teaches me how to lean upon Him. Psalm 25:4 states “Make your ways known to me, teach me your paths” My Christian walk needs to focus on following God’s pattern. He speaks to me through his Word and shows me how to trust in Him. Proverbs 9:21 reinforces the interest God has in man. “For a man’s ways are before the Lord’s eyes and he considers all His paths.” (Proverbs 9:21) God has a special interest in me and just like I take time to watch the cat and learn from his little quirks, God watches over me and guides me with His love. Learning to step out in faith and follow his leading gradually shapes my life so that it will begin to conform to His likeness. God is My instructor who shows me the pathway along life and keeps His eye on me (Psalm 32:8). Yes, this is the way to peace and a fulfilled life that will remove the stress and worry from my day to day living. Guide me with Your eye and let me follow your counsel.
*All passages are from the Holman Christian Study Bible
Friday, January 18, 2008
God's Grace in my Life
When I hear the word “grace” I always make the association to the phrase “unmerited favor”. These words are found in the song “No Other Word for Amazing” which was popular several years ago.
God’s grace means that no matter what I have done in life, God accepts me for what I am and where I am, forgives me when I ask and then saves me so that I am a child of His kingdom. All of these things are part of His love for me and there is nothing that I have ever done or could do in the future that would deserve His love. It is grace that paves the pathway for me to become a Christian. His umbrella of love keeps me close to Him and protects me from the “punishment” I deserve for all my sins.
There is no way I can comprehend that type of love. When we see people do things that are wrong we know that the justice system is designed to make them accountable for their actions. And when we are careless and drive over the speed limit, forget to stop at a stop sign, or make a turn from a wrong lane and cause an accident, we have to answer for our actions. Although we have an idea of what should be done with others who do wrong things, God forgives everyone who comes to Him and asks for forgiveness. Man and the judicial system may hold you accountable but God’s love can wash away the sinful act and make you clean.
I tried to think of an easy way to remember the word “grace”. The solution I found was:
G---God’s
R----Righteousness
A----Accepted at
C----Calvary is
E----Everlasting
Lean on His shoulders, take comfort in His arms and be at peace. I don’t have to run around feverishly trying to accomplish something. I won’t feel exhausted and worn out but I will be at peace with God knowing that He cares for me.
God’s grace means that no matter what I have done in life, God accepts me for what I am and where I am, forgives me when I ask and then saves me so that I am a child of His kingdom. All of these things are part of His love for me and there is nothing that I have ever done or could do in the future that would deserve His love. It is grace that paves the pathway for me to become a Christian. His umbrella of love keeps me close to Him and protects me from the “punishment” I deserve for all my sins.
There is no way I can comprehend that type of love. When we see people do things that are wrong we know that the justice system is designed to make them accountable for their actions. And when we are careless and drive over the speed limit, forget to stop at a stop sign, or make a turn from a wrong lane and cause an accident, we have to answer for our actions. Although we have an idea of what should be done with others who do wrong things, God forgives everyone who comes to Him and asks for forgiveness. Man and the judicial system may hold you accountable but God’s love can wash away the sinful act and make you clean.
I tried to think of an easy way to remember the word “grace”. The solution I found was:
G---God’s
R----Righteousness
A----Accepted at
C----Calvary is
E----Everlasting
Lean on His shoulders, take comfort in His arms and be at peace. I don’t have to run around feverishly trying to accomplish something. I won’t feel exhausted and worn out but I will be at peace with God knowing that He cares for me.
Emptiness
Trying to set aside time to write each day isn’t always easy. For me it seems that my ideas come in a flood and I will write feverishly for a couple months and then all of a sudden my mind seems completely empty. So many times I have found myself caught up in other responsibilities that have to be done and my passion gets shoved into the background. When that happens day after day my mind loses its focus and putting my ideas down on paper is harder. That is where I am right now.
All the ideas that have been jotted down and all the various directions that I wanted to pursue on paper have little or very little meaning to me now. Yes, I can relate to what I was thinking about and have some ideas about how I planned to develop a story but the inspiration is gone. I miss it but don’t want to lose it completely. Putting just these few thoughts on paper is a way to try to push beyond the writer’s block. I miss the writing and enjoy the person who can write and draw spiritual applications from simple and often overlooked events.
I have spent so much of my life hiding in the past and doing everything for others that my dreams and goals in life no longer seem important. God, help me to get back to a point in my life where I feel appreciated and loved by you and can find my focus. Let me feel your presence and bring me back to a point where I can sense your spirit and power moving me forward to a new and brighter future.
All the ideas that have been jotted down and all the various directions that I wanted to pursue on paper have little or very little meaning to me now. Yes, I can relate to what I was thinking about and have some ideas about how I planned to develop a story but the inspiration is gone. I miss it but don’t want to lose it completely. Putting just these few thoughts on paper is a way to try to push beyond the writer’s block. I miss the writing and enjoy the person who can write and draw spiritual applications from simple and often overlooked events.
I have spent so much of my life hiding in the past and doing everything for others that my dreams and goals in life no longer seem important. God, help me to get back to a point in my life where I feel appreciated and loved by you and can find my focus. Let me feel your presence and bring me back to a point where I can sense your spirit and power moving me forward to a new and brighter future.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
